Today marks six years since I said goodbye to my mom. Six years since she lost her battle with breast cancer. Today I woke up with a heavy heart and lump in my throat. I don't really know what to write about it... I just wanted to acknowledge it and remember, as I do everyday, what a wonderful mom she was to Jana and I. My dad stopped on his way home from work last night and left three roses at her "little piece of real estate," as we call it. He takes three roses out there often, one Jana for me and one for him. Six years ago we vowed to be the "three muskateers" and always take care of each other. So there are roses for Barb from her Three Muskateers.
But today, to get through the day, I will try to remember good and fun memories. Like the time she came to Lawrence to visit me and we had a girls-weekend in Kansas City. We had reservations for a regular room at Crown Center. But somehow, she and I sweet-talked the front desk guy and were upgraded to one of the two largest suites on the top floor. So we quickly unpacked, put on our swimsuits and headed to the pool to drink margaritas and sun ourselves. I am very much like my mom in this way. She loved soaking in the rays and feeling (her words) "like a lizard on a hot rock." I couldn't have said it better myself. So after plenty of time in the sun, we returned to the room and got dress up in our cutest dresses and our most fabulous shoes and went out for the evening. We stayed in the Crown Center area yet visited several restaurants and bars. We had martinis and beef carpacchio at Pierponts in Union Station and then continued around the area, stopping for a cocktail and an appetizer everywhere we went. We finished the evening on top of Crown Center at Skye's. It is an awesome revolving restaurant. We ordered champagne and two desserts and sat in velvet club chairs and watched the revolving skyline of Kansas City. It was a perfect night with my mom.
So I am going to do my best to avoid tears today and think of all the fun moments we had together. Vacations to Beaver Lake... quiet evenings with popcorn and movie... the sheep in the backyard... rescuing Gonzo (our pidgeon)... giggling when we could get her on the trampoline ... Delbert McClinton concerts... I could go on for hours.
I found this poem this morning, and it seemed just perfect.
As I look back on my life
I find myself wondering.....
Did I remember to thank you
for all that you have done for me?
For all of the times you were by my side
to help me celebrate my successes
and accept my defeats?
Or for teaching me the value of hard work,
good judgement, courage, and honesty?
I wonder if I've ever thanked you for the simple things...
The laughter, smiles, and quiet times we've shared?
If I have forgotten to express my gratitude
For any of these things,
I am thanking you now....
and I am hoping that you've known all along,
how very much you are loved and appreciated.
--Unknown
If you are reading this, and thinking of Barb, and feeling like sharing a happy story... well go right ahead. Just click on "comments" at the bottom of this post and share a story. Or, if you would rather, you are welcome to send it in an email to me. I love the fun and funny stories about Barb.
She was awesome and I miss her so much.
Almost a year...
10 years ago
1 comment:
Today is always a hard day... Each year it is easier to remeber the good times, but I often wonder if Mom would recognize our lives today. So much has changed. Kari and Jason are married with thier two wonderful boys, living in Wichita (which she would be thrilled about). Ryan (who has only had the chance to know Mom through stories) and I are married and expecting our first little one in January. Different jobs, different houses, different cars (Dad:). It used to be so easy to know what she would have wanted and expected of us, but never getting a chance to have that adult relationship has left me at a loss as to what she would think. She was such a warm and loving person... her quirky nature and naive spirit are some of her most endearing qualities to me. I try no not think of the days when she was sick, but there was alot of laughter in those days too! We went shopping at NBC (her favorite) one day after radition. We were trying on clothes and I heard her giggling in the room next to mine. I look over and she is standing in her underwear with her wig off, laughing. She informed me that she had just realized she looked like a baby bird. Her abilty to see the humor in tragic situations continues to be an inspiration for me. For those who did not know her... She was one of a kind... For those who were fortunate enough to know her... She is impossible to forget...
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